An Open Letter to Men on Dating Sites

An Open Letter to Men on Dating Sites

Dear Boys,

I am not adding you on Snapchat. You can add me if you want to see me. I will not sleep with you. I don't know you. And "netflix and chill" won't change that. I will not invite you over because you want to hookup, and telling me you're in the military and only get laid every six months makes you an jerk, not a good man. I have preferences- If I choose to tell you I'm not interested because you have children, are 32 years old, or abuse heroine, don't cuss me out. Thank me for being honest and not leaving you waiting for a response that will never come. I know I'm pretty, and I'm still insecure about my body. Telling me I'm pretty doesn't score you brownie points. It makes you sound boring like you have nothing interesting to say. If you want to talk to me, read my profile and come up with a good topic. I'm simply not answering to "hey", "you're pretty" (or any variation), or "wow, you're amazing". "Screw beautiful. I'm brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment my brain." (Christina Yang)

If you wouldn't use it as a hook for the introduction of an essay, don't use it on me. If you don't stand out from the crowd, I'm not giving you a callback. Treat it like an interview. Your profile and your first message to me are your resume. Speaking of messages, I'm not messaging you first unless you are absolutely stunning (personality wise or adorable wise). Make your profile look nice, and I might message you. If not, you won't be hearing from me first. I will not meet up with you the first night we talk. I don't have trust issues, but I'm not dumb either. I kind of like my life, and have no interest in losing it or making it less awesome. 

I'm busy. It may take hours or even days for me to get back to you. I work two jobs, go to school full-time, and am active in my sorority. I will get back to you at absurd hours of the night or on weekends. If you don't like my ambitions or dreams, you will not crush them, so don't even bother talking to me. I have priorities. I have commitments. I have goals. I will not let someone get in the way of them. You can be incorporated in to my life, but you will not become my life. I like video games, I'm a nerd, and yes, I am smart. You can accept it, or you can go away. I will be watching Doctor Who or Buffy or Charmed or Supernatural, etc. or I might be playing video games or having a DnD or game night. You aren't going to take me away from it. I need my chill time, and you aren't a part of that yet. You might be if you're cool. If not, sayonara.

Sincerely,
Ain't Nobody Got Time Fo Dat

Summer Post: Louisville Cold Brews

A Definitive Ranking of Louisville Cold Brew Coffees (Work in Progress; expect this to continually develop; note: I add two packets of Stevia in the Raw but no milk products):

1. Heine Bros. Cost: $2.12 (when you bring your own mug). Sweet and addictive. Won't last long. Mine lasted about 30 minutes with much restraint. Take small sips to really savor the flavor.

2. Starbucks (I know it's not a local chain. Don't judge me. I have a gift card.) Cost: $3.18. HUGE for the cost. Filled up my mug twice and still had some left over. A little bitter but still good enough to work for a hot summer day. I'm not sure they technically cold brew it. They just called it an iced coffee.

3. Quill's Coffee. Cost: $4ish. SUPER bitter. Do not recommend without a flavored syrup of some sort. I'm trying to figure out how to fix mine right now. I love Quill's chai lattes and red tea lattes (weird but somehow awesome), but their cold brew leaves much to be desired.

Where should I try next? I'm sure there are lots of good ones out in the Highlands. Welcoming all opinions!

"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't cuz I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it? And depend on it? What if you shape your life around it, and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This, it could go on forever." ~ Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

An open letter...

A Very Open Letter:

I like puzzles because I don't have to think about them. Orange reminds me of sunset unless someone is wearing it. Then it reminds me of Halloween and I hate it. I read a lot because people in books are more real than most actual people. I tend to block people out because I don't like to risk their leaving. I really hate Ramen, but I'm really awesome at making it taste better because I had to eat it for so long. I struggle to keep up with clean towels, especially during the summer time, because I go to the ~~pool~~ way too much. I buy a new bathing suit top almost every year just because I don't like when their colors fade. I keep bubbles in the house, because bubbles make everything just a little bit better. I like to debate things I disagree with because I feel like they allow me to see from other's shoes. As much as I like to debate, I'm an obsessive pacifist, because I hate to hear people fight and yell. Of all the birds, I prefer hummingbirds and sparrows because they just seem more free than the rest. I stuff pillowcases with old sheet sets in part for the convenience when guests are over and in part because I really just don't feel like buying pillows to put in them. Of all the fruits, melons are the best because they're so sweet and they make a huge mess so I love it. I'm too messy right now to keep my life organized, but everything to do with school or work is tediously in order. I'm too stubborn to look up the instructions to a Rubix Cube, so I've never finished more than two sides. I really want children one day but I'm terrified that I'm too cold-hearted and won't be a good mother. For now, I really want to travel and have fun, and you're right. I really don't want to do it alone. But I don't want to settle down and miss my chance if that person decides that their career or their goals for family means they don't want to go. I will chat with pretty much anyone just for the sake of meeting someone new. I only like shampoo that smells like fruit because the waterfall ones smell like dudes and the flower ones smell like a garden full of bumblebees. I've decided to go the route of mathematics and education, but I've secretly always loved the idea of going in to medicine; but I've never had a real biology class so I'm too scared to take that route. If I had my choice, I would just volunteer every day all day because I honestly just love helping people. I collect magnets because I figure that's the only object I can collect that won't be ruined in ten years. I love gardens but I hate gardening. How about you?

The American Dream: We're in a Nightmare

 The American Dream destroys valuable innovation, humanity, and art in order to make money doing things you don't like doing for a purpose that you don't like supporting, all to make more money and live a monotonous life of schedules, meaningless work, and social constructions.

Why do we aspire to this?

What has gone so wrong in society that we have to worry so much about money? We support companies that dehumanize their workers, we support innovation to the point that our machines are replacing our jobs, and we pursue meaningless jobs to support our lifestyles that enable these things.

As a Libertarian-minded individual, I do support the idea of capitalism- that if you work hard, you can make your dreams come true. But we need a balance. We can't put such a focus on money as we do on fulfillment. We (as consumers) also need to make sure that the companies we are supporting with our jobs and our consumerism are not engaging in human rights violations and are giving their workers enough money to live on. Unfortunately, our society no longer seems to see this line.

"Our incredible willingness to make the people who add value to our lives rich allows them to become content with their riches and step away from doing the things that we want them to do. We're effectively dis-incentivizing [sic] them from doing the very thing we want them to do. By making them rich - which we do to ensure that they don't stop making the content we like - we're causing the very outcome we wish to avoid." - Thomas J. Hamaker (admin of Rational Political Debate, Facebook)

Am I saying we need to technologically regress or go back to local only buying? Of course not. I used to be an engineering student. I love math and science innovation. But we, as consumers, should reevaluate our choices in companies we support. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer to the point that many barely have what they need to survive even here in America. Across the seas, many people aren't getting what they need.

The UN reported that about 21,000 people die from hunger each day. This doesn't even put in to account dehydration and hygiene-related diseases. That's sad, you might say, but what does that have to do with me? Many of these are from third-world countries, of course, but we do get a lot (most) of our products from China. In China, "In 2009 alone, approximately one million workers were injured at work and about 20,000 suffered from diseases due to their occupation." [1] One million. That's about the population of Dallas, Texas (see here for other cities). That would mean nearly every person in Dallas was injured enough to have to report it, so this is just an "Ow, I bumped my head." This is, "Ow, I lost a finger," or "Ow, I broke my arm." Millions of these people are living off of just a couple dollars a day. We make four times that here at a minimum wage job in the states, in an hour.

How can we fix this? Well, the big idea is to do your research. Where was your product made? Does that place have workers' rights laws (that they follow)? If not, can you find an alternative product that does support workers' rights? It's just a small step, but it could make a big difference in the long run.

Regarding the other point of this discussion- meaningful work. Why are we working monotonous office jobs that support these products that dehumanize people around the globe? "You will spend your life completely wasting your time. You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living. That is, to go on doing things you don't like doing, which is stupid...It's absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don't like in order to go on spending things you don't like and doing things you don't like and to teach your children to follow in the same track," (Alan Watts, "What if Money Were No Object?"). We all have things, and we like our things. But our things won't be around forever and in the end materialism doesn't make us any happier. Things do not reach in to the soul and reflect our humanity. Doing things we love creates fulfillment and happiness.

So...what is it that you like? Maybe you believe that we were called to live radically and want to work for a missions organization. Maybe you like scuba diving and want to study fish in Australia. Maybe you like photography and weddings and want to be a wedding photographer. So do what you love and stop chasing the American Dream. There is a job for everything, and everyone has to do something. You might as well do what you love.

I tried Buzzfeed!

I tried Buzzfeed! Check out my post! <3

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alyssaweaver1994/things-only-math-majors-understand-1iuov

Let's Be Real

I'm done comforting people.

Like many of you, dear readers, I am a very compassionate person. When you tell me your problems, I'm likely to give you meaningless, cliche advice and consolations. You know them. If you know me, I've probably told you some of them. They have good intentions of course.

"I'm sorry. It will get better." [Maybe. Eventually.]

"Everything happens for a reason." [Usually. Except when I can't come up with one.]

"It gets easier." [No, it doesn't. You just forget eventually.]

"Time heals all wounds." [Except the ones it doesn't heal.]

"Lots of people go through this." [Including me, but I'm not going to tell you. I'm perfect.]

"There's a light at the end of the tunnel." [Or a brick wall. Guess we'll find out.]

           I'M DONE!







People will say "Thanks," and "you're such a great friend," but nothing's changed. That person still feels horrible. Can we please take a minute to just be real with each other? We put on lovely faces of beautiful, happy people for the world to see. But it's just a masquerade. The majority of people I know are scared, angry, lonely, and generally unhappy with life. We learn to be relatively happy on a day to day basis, but many people are still just as heartbroken and lost on the inside. Cliche phrases like "It gets better," don't help; they just further disconnects and isolates people. 

 


Can we stop giving people useless messages that just make ourselves feel better for being good friends? Here's my proposal, readers.

Instead of all of these meaningless phrases we've been throwing out in every situation our whole lives, let us embrace our humanity. 

"Me too."  

"I've never been through that, but I want to know more."

 "You aren't alone."