An Open Letter to Men on Dating Sites

An Open Letter to Men on Dating Sites

Dear Boys,

I am not adding you on Snapchat. You can add me if you want to see me. I will not sleep with you. I don't know you. And "netflix and chill" won't change that. I will not invite you over because you want to hookup, and telling me you're in the military and only get laid every six months makes you an jerk, not a good man. I have preferences- If I choose to tell you I'm not interested because you have children, are 32 years old, or abuse heroine, don't cuss me out. Thank me for being honest and not leaving you waiting for a response that will never come. I know I'm pretty, and I'm still insecure about my body. Telling me I'm pretty doesn't score you brownie points. It makes you sound boring like you have nothing interesting to say. If you want to talk to me, read my profile and come up with a good topic. I'm simply not answering to "hey", "you're pretty" (or any variation), or "wow, you're amazing". "Screw beautiful. I'm brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment my brain." (Christina Yang)

If you wouldn't use it as a hook for the introduction of an essay, don't use it on me. If you don't stand out from the crowd, I'm not giving you a callback. Treat it like an interview. Your profile and your first message to me are your resume. Speaking of messages, I'm not messaging you first unless you are absolutely stunning (personality wise or adorable wise). Make your profile look nice, and I might message you. If not, you won't be hearing from me first. I will not meet up with you the first night we talk. I don't have trust issues, but I'm not dumb either. I kind of like my life, and have no interest in losing it or making it less awesome. 

I'm busy. It may take hours or even days for me to get back to you. I work two jobs, go to school full-time, and am active in my sorority. I will get back to you at absurd hours of the night or on weekends. If you don't like my ambitions or dreams, you will not crush them, so don't even bother talking to me. I have priorities. I have commitments. I have goals. I will not let someone get in the way of them. You can be incorporated in to my life, but you will not become my life. I like video games, I'm a nerd, and yes, I am smart. You can accept it, or you can go away. I will be watching Doctor Who or Buffy or Charmed or Supernatural, etc. or I might be playing video games or having a DnD or game night. You aren't going to take me away from it. I need my chill time, and you aren't a part of that yet. You might be if you're cool. If not, sayonara.

Sincerely,
Ain't Nobody Got Time Fo Dat

Summer Post: Louisville Cold Brews

A Definitive Ranking of Louisville Cold Brew Coffees (Work in Progress; expect this to continually develop; note: I add two packets of Stevia in the Raw but no milk products):

1. Heine Bros. Cost: $2.12 (when you bring your own mug). Sweet and addictive. Won't last long. Mine lasted about 30 minutes with much restraint. Take small sips to really savor the flavor.

2. Starbucks (I know it's not a local chain. Don't judge me. I have a gift card.) Cost: $3.18. HUGE for the cost. Filled up my mug twice and still had some left over. A little bitter but still good enough to work for a hot summer day. I'm not sure they technically cold brew it. They just called it an iced coffee.

3. Quill's Coffee. Cost: $4ish. SUPER bitter. Do not recommend without a flavored syrup of some sort. I'm trying to figure out how to fix mine right now. I love Quill's chai lattes and red tea lattes (weird but somehow awesome), but their cold brew leaves much to be desired.

Where should I try next? I'm sure there are lots of good ones out in the Highlands. Welcoming all opinions!

"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't cuz I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it? And depend on it? What if you shape your life around it, and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This, it could go on forever." ~ Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

An open letter...

A Very Open Letter:

I like puzzles because I don't have to think about them. Orange reminds me of sunset unless someone is wearing it. Then it reminds me of Halloween and I hate it. I read a lot because people in books are more real than most actual people. I tend to block people out because I don't like to risk their leaving. I really hate Ramen, but I'm really awesome at making it taste better because I had to eat it for so long. I struggle to keep up with clean towels, especially during the summer time, because I go to the ~~pool~~ way too much. I buy a new bathing suit top almost every year just because I don't like when their colors fade. I keep bubbles in the house, because bubbles make everything just a little bit better. I like to debate things I disagree with because I feel like they allow me to see from other's shoes. As much as I like to debate, I'm an obsessive pacifist, because I hate to hear people fight and yell. Of all the birds, I prefer hummingbirds and sparrows because they just seem more free than the rest. I stuff pillowcases with old sheet sets in part for the convenience when guests are over and in part because I really just don't feel like buying pillows to put in them. Of all the fruits, melons are the best because they're so sweet and they make a huge mess so I love it. I'm too messy right now to keep my life organized, but everything to do with school or work is tediously in order. I'm too stubborn to look up the instructions to a Rubix Cube, so I've never finished more than two sides. I really want children one day but I'm terrified that I'm too cold-hearted and won't be a good mother. For now, I really want to travel and have fun, and you're right. I really don't want to do it alone. But I don't want to settle down and miss my chance if that person decides that their career or their goals for family means they don't want to go. I will chat with pretty much anyone just for the sake of meeting someone new. I only like shampoo that smells like fruit because the waterfall ones smell like dudes and the flower ones smell like a garden full of bumblebees. I've decided to go the route of mathematics and education, but I've secretly always loved the idea of going in to medicine; but I've never had a real biology class so I'm too scared to take that route. If I had my choice, I would just volunteer every day all day because I honestly just love helping people. I collect magnets because I figure that's the only object I can collect that won't be ruined in ten years. I love gardens but I hate gardening. How about you?

The American Dream: We're in a Nightmare

 The American Dream destroys valuable innovation, humanity, and art in order to make money doing things you don't like doing for a purpose that you don't like supporting, all to make more money and live a monotonous life of schedules, meaningless work, and social constructions.

Why do we aspire to this?

What has gone so wrong in society that we have to worry so much about money? We support companies that dehumanize their workers, we support innovation to the point that our machines are replacing our jobs, and we pursue meaningless jobs to support our lifestyles that enable these things.

As a Libertarian-minded individual, I do support the idea of capitalism- that if you work hard, you can make your dreams come true. But we need a balance. We can't put such a focus on money as we do on fulfillment. We (as consumers) also need to make sure that the companies we are supporting with our jobs and our consumerism are not engaging in human rights violations and are giving their workers enough money to live on. Unfortunately, our society no longer seems to see this line.

"Our incredible willingness to make the people who add value to our lives rich allows them to become content with their riches and step away from doing the things that we want them to do. We're effectively dis-incentivizing [sic] them from doing the very thing we want them to do. By making them rich - which we do to ensure that they don't stop making the content we like - we're causing the very outcome we wish to avoid." - Thomas J. Hamaker (admin of Rational Political Debate, Facebook)

Am I saying we need to technologically regress or go back to local only buying? Of course not. I used to be an engineering student. I love math and science innovation. But we, as consumers, should reevaluate our choices in companies we support. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer to the point that many barely have what they need to survive even here in America. Across the seas, many people aren't getting what they need.

The UN reported that about 21,000 people die from hunger each day. This doesn't even put in to account dehydration and hygiene-related diseases. That's sad, you might say, but what does that have to do with me? Many of these are from third-world countries, of course, but we do get a lot (most) of our products from China. In China, "In 2009 alone, approximately one million workers were injured at work and about 20,000 suffered from diseases due to their occupation." [1] One million. That's about the population of Dallas, Texas (see here for other cities). That would mean nearly every person in Dallas was injured enough to have to report it, so this is just an "Ow, I bumped my head." This is, "Ow, I lost a finger," or "Ow, I broke my arm." Millions of these people are living off of just a couple dollars a day. We make four times that here at a minimum wage job in the states, in an hour.

How can we fix this? Well, the big idea is to do your research. Where was your product made? Does that place have workers' rights laws (that they follow)? If not, can you find an alternative product that does support workers' rights? It's just a small step, but it could make a big difference in the long run.

Regarding the other point of this discussion- meaningful work. Why are we working monotonous office jobs that support these products that dehumanize people around the globe? "You will spend your life completely wasting your time. You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living. That is, to go on doing things you don't like doing, which is stupid...It's absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don't like in order to go on spending things you don't like and doing things you don't like and to teach your children to follow in the same track," (Alan Watts, "What if Money Were No Object?"). We all have things, and we like our things. But our things won't be around forever and in the end materialism doesn't make us any happier. Things do not reach in to the soul and reflect our humanity. Doing things we love creates fulfillment and happiness.

So...what is it that you like? Maybe you believe that we were called to live radically and want to work for a missions organization. Maybe you like scuba diving and want to study fish in Australia. Maybe you like photography and weddings and want to be a wedding photographer. So do what you love and stop chasing the American Dream. There is a job for everything, and everyone has to do something. You might as well do what you love.

I tried Buzzfeed!

I tried Buzzfeed! Check out my post! <3

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alyssaweaver1994/things-only-math-majors-understand-1iuov

Let's Be Real

I'm done comforting people.

Like many of you, dear readers, I am a very compassionate person. When you tell me your problems, I'm likely to give you meaningless, cliche advice and consolations. You know them. If you know me, I've probably told you some of them. They have good intentions of course.

"I'm sorry. It will get better." [Maybe. Eventually.]

"Everything happens for a reason." [Usually. Except when I can't come up with one.]

"It gets easier." [No, it doesn't. You just forget eventually.]

"Time heals all wounds." [Except the ones it doesn't heal.]

"Lots of people go through this." [Including me, but I'm not going to tell you. I'm perfect.]

"There's a light at the end of the tunnel." [Or a brick wall. Guess we'll find out.]

           I'M DONE!







People will say "Thanks," and "you're such a great friend," but nothing's changed. That person still feels horrible. Can we please take a minute to just be real with each other? We put on lovely faces of beautiful, happy people for the world to see. But it's just a masquerade. The majority of people I know are scared, angry, lonely, and generally unhappy with life. We learn to be relatively happy on a day to day basis, but many people are still just as heartbroken and lost on the inside. Cliche phrases like "It gets better," don't help; they just further disconnects and isolates people. 

 


Can we stop giving people useless messages that just make ourselves feel better for being good friends? Here's my proposal, readers.

Instead of all of these meaningless phrases we've been throwing out in every situation our whole lives, let us embrace our humanity. 

"Me too."  

"I've never been through that, but I want to know more."

 "You aren't alone."

Cooking With Broke College Students Volume 2

I LOVE THAI FOOD. I'M BROKE.

Well, I have a solution for you. Introducing Poor Man's Pad Thai:

 

Ingredients:

1 Pack Chicken Ramen

Small handful of sunflower seeds

1 Egg

Thai Chili Sauce (to taste)

Optional: sesame oil, soy sauce, bean sprouts (if you can afford them)

 

1.  Cook Ramen however you cook Ramen. I use the microwave. 

2. In a separate pan, scramble egg.

3. Drain Ramen water and add seasoning packet.

4. Add Thai Chili to taste.

5. Add egg, sunflower seeds, and optional ingredients.

6. Stir thoroughly and enjoy.

 

It's easy. It takes five minutes. And it costs about $0.50 per bowl. I've been using the same jar of chili sauce and sunflower seeds since May and I make this a few times a month.

The List -- The Perfect Man

I was discussing this in the car today with a friend. We were doing a little bit of a get-to-know-you session, asking random questions to get to know each other's personalities and values. I posed the question:

If you could combine fictional characters to create your perfect man, who would they be, and for what traits?

She didn't have an answer right away and asked me to go first. Here's my list, and then I'm going to explain why I'm writing this post:
1. The dedication and patience of Rory from Doctor Who. Rory waited for Amy for 2,000 or so years while she was stuck in the Pandorica.
2. The tenderness and sense of adventure of Logan from Gilmore Girls. Yes, this is probably because I'm currently watching all seven seasons, but whatever. 
3. The bravery of Harry Potter. 
4. The appearance of Andrew from The Proposal...because Ryan Reynolds. 

I told her I could increase my list and I certainly could hit on the intelligence and wit of basically any Victorian-era classics male main character (though maybe Dantes from The Count of Monte Cristo could do...or any Jane Austen male lead), and the loyalty and ambition (though not the crazy) of Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, but I kept it at that. 

She gave me her answer of course, which I won't reveal for confidentiality purposes. After discussing this topic, I thought about a movie I watched recently with two of my close friends, Beauty and the Briefcase. In it, Hilary Duff's character has a list of ten things she needs for her "magic man". She is a journalist and is sent on a mission to find a perfect "man in a suit" in the business world for a cover story. She dates, eliminating guys for not matching the list. And SPOILERS...

She breaks the rules and dates non-businessmen blah blah blah. And BIG SPOILER.

She ends up with a man that doesn't match any of her ten requirements. 

So?

I guess what I'm getting at is that everyone has certain standards, but the perfect person doesn't exist. We love based on the good and bad of a person, the wonderful qualities and those pesky quirks. Perhaps we set each other to too high standards. Maybe the man that you will end up doesn't look like a chiseled-abs, beautiful jaw lines actor. Maybe he isn't going to wait for you to come to your senses or break out of a box for two thousand years- would you? Really? 

This doesn't mean we should be pessimistic or eliminate our standards. One character in the movie takes an item off of her list every year in the hopes that someone will make it through her crazy standards. Another character just wants a guy who breathes. Well, that should work I guess. 

But maybe, just maybe, a wonderful guy is out there who isn't insanely ambitious, who doesn't have his whole life planned out, and isn't as intelligent as Einstein or Hawking. Maybe he is lost and confused like you but has reasonable goals. Maybe he is his own type of smart (theory of multiple intelligences anyone?). Time will tell.

What do you think? Are lists silly? Do you have a list? Let me know!

the conversation is starting

People complain about Gen Y for being lazy...and other things I don't feel like looking up. Ha, see what I did there? (Really, it's just because that isn't the point of this post.) But what is Gen Y really?

According to Forbes, we are the most diverse, self-expressive, and educated generation yet.

What does this mean for you? Well, right now, it means that you see a lot of Facebook posts and Tweets (and unknown bloggers blogging about bloggy things) about controversial topics. With the inception of social media right as we reached peak age to get involved with it, it means we have an outlet to express our sometimes controversial views. And we have a lot of them. It means that those of us that don't have our degrees yet are working towards them and that we are preparing to be you in ten years. Except we won't be.

Our parents were raised in a time where their controversies led to the way that they raised us, as all parents do. Those mindsets, to raise us better than they are (as almost all parents seem to want out of their children), has led to us being a highly tolerant- no, I'm not even going to use that word- inclusive generation. We don't tolerate people, they're like us. They are included. For the most part, our generation doesn't care if you're white, black, tan, or purple polka-dotted. We don't care if you're gay, straight, pan, bi, or transgender. We don't care if you're a male or female. We don't care if you're Christian, Muslim, Mormon, Hindu, or any other religion. We grew up with you. We love you for who you are. And we want to know all of you, even the parts that spark controversy in the nightly news. To us, the groups you associate yourself with are no different than which clubs you join or what gym you work out at. They're a part of you, but it's not going to make or break our friendship. 

Does my generation have biases? Of course. But somewhere around 76% of Gen Y believes that are biases are lower than those of our parents and grandparents. (That's from one of my college textbooks from this semester. I'll find it if someone's really dying to know the source. Otherwise, just take my word for it, okay?)

What does this mean?

1. It means we aren't afraid to start the conversation.

Because we are such a diverse and self-expressive generation, it means we'll talk about it. It means that for the next few years at the least, you will see at least one or two things on your newsfeeds every day about feminism, racism, religion, or LGBTQA (and more- drug legalization, pornography, animal rights, etc.). These are no longer hushed conversations that you talk about for a moment at the dinner table before your parents say it's not politically correct to talk about it, and not to do so again. They are things that we talk about every day. Not a day goes by that I don't have one of these conversations with someone. Whether it's a Tweet, a Facebook post, an e-mail, a text, a phone conversation, or a chat with someone as we walk to get coffee, we're talking about it. We talk about how our parents and grandparents viewed these topics, how we see them, and our observations at how the younger generation sees them. We talk about our hopes for what the conversation will be once we are in the workforce, and how it can be as the younger kids grow up. We share our experiences and retell anecdotes that our parents and grandparents, and sometimes even great-grandparents, told us about their childhood. We're willing to start the conversation, and the conversation isn't ending anytime soon.

2. It means we're ready to ask the tough questions.

Our generation is going to ask the tough questions that our parents and grandparents didn't necessarily ask. We will ask the not so tough ones, but sort-of-awkward-and-I'm-sorry-I'm-so-culturally-inept questions: "What does wearing a hijab mean to you?" to "Does your religion really promote people doing that to one another?" We will ask the tougher ones: "Have you ever been discriminated against because of your race or gender?" "Is being gay a choice? If it was, what would you choose?" We grew up discussing these topics, and we were told our whole lives that no question is stupid. So why shouldn't we ask? Is it politically correct? Not usually. Is it awkward? Most definitely.  But how will we know if we don't ask? We will never come to an understanding and start to see ourselves not by our classifications but as people until we understand one another.

3. It means we will answer the tough questions.

 

My generation was raised to respect and appreciate our differences. Almost all of us made a snowflake in kindergarten and our teacher told as that we are as unique as the snowflakes we created and that every snowflake in history is completely original. If someone asks, we will describe our experiences on whatever the topic may be. We will share our view and compare it to someone else's viewpoint. Furthermore, we will listen to each other. A recent point that has been circling the social media is the difference between hearing and listening. When we hear someone, we process their words but we think of how we will respond. When we listen, we consider their view and ask questions to better understand. On occasion, it might even alter our point of view.

4. It means that the future is bright.

Because we grew up with a different idea of biases based on whatever classification, we are getting ready to tackle their consequences. Soon, we will be in the jobs you hold. We will also be creating new ones that directly address these social issues.



The conversation is starting. Are you ready for change?

10 Influential Books Challenge

So this challenge has been going around on Facebook to list 10 books that have been influential to you as a person. I've decided to make it a blog post instead of a status so that I can really go in to detail about the books I choose. I group some together that I feel had the same influence on the way I think or that are just very closely related books. I wish I could put more on this list. I've read tons and tons of books and they've all shaped who I am today. Most of these are also fiction novels and I could write a whole separate list of non-fiction books that have influenced me...and a whole different one of dystopian novels that have influenced me...and probably one for every genre. But I've tried to narrow it down here. Enjoy!

1. Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling

The Harry Potter series probably has had the greatest impact on my life. I've read the series since a very young age and have loved the whole franchise ever since. Harry Potter taught me about loyalty, friendship, love, morality, ethics, the importance of education, spontaneity and a sense of adventure, hope for a better tomorrow, and to be who I am without concern for how others may perceive me. This series has made me laugh and cry and everything in between. My generation really grew up with these characters and you can see this influence in the attitudes and behaviors of my age group. I've actually had lengthy discussions with peers about the influence of Harry Potter on our generation. I could write a whole blog post just about that, easily.

2. Little Brother, Cory Doctorow (and consequently, its sequel and 1984, George Orwell)

This one probably seems a little obscure. If you'd like to read it, I believe the author has it published for free on his website. I read this when I was 14, in my freshman year of high school. I actually started reading it as a book club sort of thing with my mom after she made a joke that the main character reminded her of one of my friends. I really enjoyed the novel, of course, but it had a deeper impact than that on me. I had recently joined the debate team and was learning to see multiple sides of issues. This book was, to me, the first time I questioned authority and the legitimacy and honesty of our government. Up until this point, I believed what the media told me and assumed that the government always had our best interests at heart. After reading this, I had questions. I did research. I started reading 6 or 7 of the same news story to get different viewpoints. I looked in to conspiracy theories and scandals and highly criticized government actions. For the first time in my life, I was able to ask those above me who gave me orders and rules every day, "Why?".

3. Emma, Jane Austen

Okay, so this one is probably more of a I-really-love-this-novel than a this-changed-my-entire-future sort of book. A problem I often find in novels is their romanticization. Everything just goes perfectly for characters except for a little bump in the road. Emma was the first novel I read that the author took a step back and said, "Hey, things just don't go this perfectly." Yes, everything turns out just dandy in the end; however, the author took her main character and told her, "No. You aren't perfect. Stop pretending you are." I love this aspect of the novel and could really relate it to my every day life. Things usually turn out okay for me, but they don't always. And that's alright.

4. The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne

I read this book junior year of high school for my AP Language class. I'll be honest. My first read-through of it, I absolutely hated this book. The language and grammar are complex, the story seems dry, and the characters aren't at all relatable. After reading this a second time, however, I realized that the book made some excellent points. I learned several lessons from it, including not being hypocritical and considering that someone's situation has more to it than the eye can see. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has a story to tell. We shouldn't make judgements anyways, but if we insist on doing so, we need to know the whole story first.

5. The Prophet, Khalil Gibran

This is another obscure one. I found this sophomore year of high school by accident. There are times when I just roam the library and grab random books. This was one of those times. I just happened to come across this beautiful work of poetry. It wasn't something that really changed who I am but it was beautiful and I admire it to this day.

6. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi

This story was one of my first views into the brutal reality of oppressed cultures. It taught me about oppression and the sweet relief of freedom- including its dangers. There is also at least one sequel to it. I read these when I was very young, so it was a pretty hard-learned lesson.

7. The Bible, Various Authors (and other books not included in it)

This is pretty obvious.

8. The Case for Christ, The Case for a Creator (in progress), Lee Strobel

I've often read the happy-go-lucky be-a-happy-Christian-because-God-loves-you books. these books took a different spin. They were written by an atheist journalist who later converted. The really neat thing about them is their look in to the scientific evidence for Christ and for God. It confronts widely accepted scientific theories and refutes them or accepts them based on modern scientific research. I have often wondered what scientific research existed, if any, and why science seemed so determined to go against Christian beliefs. Some aspects still do, even in modern research, but a lot of the big arguments are no longer valid in today's society.

9. Go Ask Alice,  Beatrice Sparks

I asked my mom if I could read this when I was 13. She said no, so naturally, I took it that night and read the whole thing. I had trouble sleeping for days and days after this, but eventually managed it. Anyways, this is the reason that I never really partied and never had any interest in drugs despite being offered them plenty of times. So thank you Beatrice Sparks for the intense paranoia and phobia that your book gave me. Drugs are bad, guys.

10. Wuthering Heights, Emile Bronte / The Count of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas

Last but not least! I combined these two because they really show the same life lesson. Revenge and hatred are poison. They taught me that love and forgiveness are far better options, not to mention they are just great, quality writing.



So that's it! What are ten influential books in your life? Do we have any in common? Let me know!

Freshman Myths

I'm going in to my junior year in college. I didn't really know many freshmen last year, but know quite a few freshmen or freshmen-like* people this year. So, basically, I've been thinking a lot about things I thought freshman year that I've realized aren't true. Enjoy!

*Freshmen-Like People- Any student who is a freshman, acts like one, or is considered one because it's their first year in a traditional university in which they are forced to live on campus.


Myth 1: Soda Will Give Me the Extra Boost I Need This Week.

I used to think that a Coke or a Mountain Dew would really get me through my busy week at school. I would be "good" and get a diet drink, but let's be honest. Those aren't any healthier than the regular drink. In fact, many of them are shown to be worse for you. Seriously, Google any variation of "diet sodas are unhealthy". Check out some research or something. You're intelligent. Anyhoo, I would enjoy that soda and it would keep me going for....an hour? Maybe two? Which, honestly, I probably could have managed without it. The problem with these sugary sodas is that they're not natural (seriously, I will give you a dime for every natural ingredient you can find in that ingredients list on your soda bottle); furthermore, they are high in sugar. So? Because they are high in sugar, it means you'll be really awake for awhile and then you're going to crash. 

Fact: Other drinks are healthier and will give you more energy.
My favorite alternative is green tea (make it yourself, don't buy it, even though Arizona Green Tea tastes like magic in a can), but check out other alternatives here.

You will get as much caffeine as you would in your normal soda, but with less or no sugar. This means, you'll have that burst of caffeine you want to help you stay awake without the sugar crash after a couple of hours. I haven't had a soda in....easily months...that I can think of. When I do have one, it isn't for the caffeine. It's for the taste for a special treat. Don't believe me? Check out this list of caffeine content in your favorite drinks.  




Myth 2: I Need To Dress Up Or I Won't Make Friends
First off, if you're friends care about what you wear in college, you're wasting your time. Dress to impress or dress like a mess. Be you. If they don't like it, they can find someone else to hate on. It's perfectly acceptable to wear yoga pants or sweatpants once or twice...shoot...three times a week. Whatever. However...

Fact: Dressing to Impress Can Yield Success
It has been shown in several research experiments, like this one, that dressing well or dressing in character helps you to succeed in the classroom. You'll often hear variations of this: if you look good, you'll do good (not to be a grammar freak, but *cough* "well"); dress well, do well; dress for success, etc. I used to just wear yoga pants or sweats all the time. Nowadays, I try to wear skirts and nice-looking shirts. Not only does it show your professors that you care about their class (even though you probably don't), but also it tells your brain to get in to the mindset to learn today.



Myth 3: Failing an Exam is Okay and I Don't Need To Do Anything About It
Some professors drop your lowest exam or quiz grade. A lot of students, especially freshmen, take this to mean, "that means I don't need to study for this since he'll drop it anyways". Oh, wouldn't that be nice. 

Fact: If You Fail an Exam, Something Needs To Change
You didn't study? Study it now. The vast majority of your classes will have cumulative finals. What does that mean? It means that the material you failed to learn is on it. Oh, and your final is probably something like 25% of your grade. LEARN IT. 



Myth 4: Skipping a Lecture Isn't a Big Deal
For the first time in your life, attendance (probably) isn't mandatory...or if it is, it only loses you one or two points on your next exam. Whatever. Besides, the syllabus is online, so is the Power Point, and you started this section last class anyways. You sort of know some of the material. You'll be fine. 

Fact: Every Class You Miss Will Affect Your Final Grades
This is a pretty complicated subject, but I'll just post some links from researchers that explain my point in a more technical way. AKA this article. If you Google this topic, it finds about 13 million results, most of which (in the first few pages) all seem to say the same exact thing. If you miss content, you're going to miss the question on the exam. Remember, the Power Point is a summary of what the actual lecture is about. The syllabus just tells you what you covered. The book only tells half of the story. Go to class!


I'm sure I'll add on to this over time, but right now I need to go start making flashcards for Psychology. Bye!

P.S. You can now disregard everything I just said because I'm going to go eat a bunch of sugar. I want a cookie.
  
 

Cooking With Broke College Kids

Hey everyone, I wanted to share a recipe with you all that I made last week.

I'm calling it Homemade Tuna and Sun-Dried Tomatoes Cheesy Raviolis. AKA I-was-out-of-food-and-money-and-got-desperate-so-I-made-stuff-up.Yeah, it's a mouthful (quite literally). So I'm just going to post a picture and the recipe below!

Ingredients:
2 Cups Wheat or Regular Flour
1 Tsp Olive or Vegetable Oil
1 Tbsp Milk
3 Eggs
1 Can Tuna
1 Can Pasta Sauce
1/4 Cup Alfredo Sauce
2 Tbsp Feta Cheese
1 Tbsp Sun-Dried Tomatoes
Italian Seasonings to Taste

1. Pre-heat oven to 350.
2. Put flour on a cooking/pastry board. Make a little dent in the center like you would if you were putting gravy on mashed potatoes.
3. Beat eggs, oil, and milk until well-mixed.
4. Slowly pour egg mixture into the dent in your flour and use fingertips or fork to create a ball of dough.
5. On a lightly floured surface, knead the dough.
6. Flatten out the dough using hands or a rolling pin.
7. Cut in to squares.
8. Drain tuna.
9. In a small bowl, mix alfredo sauce, tuna, feta, and sun-dried tomatoes.
10. Pick up two squares of dough and stretch the sides lightly. Place on a lightly floured surface.
11. Add a very small amount of the tuna mix to the center of one of the squares.
12. Put the other squares on top and lightly press the sides together until sealed.
13. Use a fork to lightly press the lines in to the side. I don't know if there is a scientific reason for this, but it looks good and only takes about two seconds.
14. Set aside.
15. Repeat for remaining squares.
16. Pour pasta sauce into a short cake pan or casserole dish.
17. Place raviolis on top of sauce.
18. Sprinkle spices and extra feta on top.
19. Place in the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes.
20. Serve immediately with oregano sprinkled on top for good show

Makes 12-15 raviolis.

Prep Time- 15 minutes
Bake Time- 10-15 minutes

Things I Have Learned From Skyrim

1. Doors are dangerous.

2. Walls are dangerous.

3. Floors are dangerous.

4. Going to town is dangerous.

5. Going on a hike is dangerous.

6. Shouting at people can make them run away...or want to kill you.

7. Steal anything you want, but never kill a family chicken.

8. Talking to dogs is cool.

9. Always carry 35 apples, 10 apple pies, 17 cabbages, 20 potatoes, 37 cheese wedges, 18 leeks, and 7 salmon. You never know when you'll need them.

10. Not all people die when shot with 39 arrows.

11.  Killing people after giving blood offerings results in admission to special clubs. 

12. They like hanging out with the club of people who steal things.

13. Monsters are real, but even ghosts can be killed by swords and magic balls of destruction that shoot out of your hand.

14. Sometimes desecrated corpses fall from the ceiling and give you nightmares, but it's okay. They usually have a bunch of gold in their pockets to make up for your trauma.

(To be continued...)

On Why Not Having A Car Is Actually A Complete Blessing

I wanted to write about how awesome my experience with alternative transportation has been since I don't have a car. My modes of transportation including riding the bus, riding my bike, walking, and begging friends for rides. Most of this will actually be about the bus. 

1. Meeting New People 

When riding the bus, I have met so many people from different walks of life. I've talked to a mechanic whose car turned on him. His transmission blew out right before he went to work (#irony). I've met a preacher from a very traditional Baptist church. I've met homeless men, nurses, businesswomen, teachers, struggling artists, hipsters, hippies, single moms (along with lots of their children), older men and women reading the newspaper, college kids, refugees, a woman who was pregnant and going into labor, and your average Joe.

Bus rides don't always go as expected, and you share both horrible and fantastic moments with these people. Once, the bus went out of service in the middle of the route. It was raining, I'd just broken my umbrella from the wind, there was nothing to shelter us from the rain, and I had no idea where I was. I shared this moment with the only other person on the bus, a guy who I personally found a little sketchy. Turns out he was a nice guy and we both enjoyed complaining for twenty minutes until the next bus came.

A great lesson is learned from riding the bus. Just because someone doesn't look like you, live like you, or seem similar to you, doesn't mean you're nothing alike. People are people, and people have amazing different outlooks in life. When you ride the bus, you learn about these viewpoints and can share your views with others. You'll be surprised to find similarities, and you might just find yourself feeling more compassion and a little more human.

2. Discovering New Places

On occasion, I get off at the wrong bus stop. Usually I'm just a block or so off, but in doing so I've found some amazing places. I discovered one of my favorite spots in Louisville this way, Fountain Court (Picture 2). This little street can't be driven on. It's just two sidewalks on either side, with a beautiful garden as a median. It runs perpendicular to the beautiful St. James Court, where the St. James Court Art Show is held each year (2, 3, 4, 5). Now, I purposefully get off at this stop just to stop and smell the roses, quite literally.

I've also seen someone with a police telephone box in their yard (clearly this is where the Doctor lives). I wish I knew the exact location, but it was in an unknown area to me. I've also discovered Franfort Avenue, which is lined with cute shops and local restaurants. I can't wait to have a day to go explore the area. You find gems in the city that you'd never normally pass through.

3. Learning Patience

In today's society, we expect instant gratification. Having to wait at bus stops, go at a slow speed and stop nearly every block, and having to walk a couple of blocks to get to where you're going teaches patience and gives you more time to appreciate the world and the people in it. You learn to accept time as something that passes quickly and that should be appreciated and enjoyed. Whether this means spending time with God, listening to music, or just enjoying the outdoors, this extra time is wonderful for reflection!

4. Improving Time Management

Most of the time, I don't travel far from home. This means that the bus I normally take passes through every ten minutes and I don't have to plan ahead of time. But for longer journeys, I have to plan. For example, I sometimes take a special route of my usual bus that arrives at say, 10:47 and I arrive at my destination around 11:30 for an event that starts at noon. I have to plan ahead and schedule around this. If I go to the next bus that takes that special route, I won't make it on time. Riding the bus has helped me prepare a schedule for myself and organize my things ahead of time so I'll be able to get out of the house quickly and efficiently.

5. Becoming More Aware of Your Surroundings

Okay, so it's not all roses and sunshine. There are sketchy people out and about, and you do have to look out for them. I've learned to watch out for others. For example, I biked to the convenience store today to pick up some light bulbs. When I came out, two large men were near the bike rack chatting. I thought about just politely going over and grabbing my bike, but these were big dudes. To get my bike, I would have had to put my back towards these men and put my purse down to get my keys and unlock my bike. I was obviously not comfortable with this, so I did have to stand in the sun for about 10 minutes until they left.

On bus rides, I've learned that overall people are quite friendly. People chat with me all the time, and I very rarely feel uncomfortable or nervous with a situation, even when I'm in a pretty sketchy area. To help ease any nervousness, I also keep some method of self-defense with me. Whether you keep a taser, pepper spray, a pocket knife, or just keys, it's better safe than sorry.

6. Great Stories 

Finally, I always have entertaining stories to tell when I come home from a bus or bike adventure. Here are some below:

- Remember those two large guys at the convenient store I mentioned? It turns out that one of them was a homeless man and the other had brought him there to pick him up some groceries. They chatted and the man told him his story and they ended the conversation with a big hug and lots of thanks.

- I was proposed to at a bus stop. I went to a Rite Aid to pick up some straws and an Arizona tea. When I got back to the bus stop, the bus was a little late. I was only a few blocks from home and the weather was lovely, so I decided to just walk. As I walked away from the stop, the man asked me to marry him.

- I was down on Broadway once to transfer to my next bus on my way to an interview. This man walked around me and then turned to me and said "I was just admiring the back and figured I should see the front. Both are gorgeous!" He then asked me if I'd like to spend time with him...I politely declined. A few days later, I went to meet up for a date in the area and I saw the man again. He and I chatted for a few minutes about life and stuff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To sum all this up, give riding the bus, walking, and riding your bike a try. You learn a lot, appreciate life more, and will save money on gas. I won't go all enviromentalist on you all, but it also decreases all those pollutants destroying the planet and what-not too! Give it a shot, you just might find a new favorite way of travel!

Little Things

Link to a poem:
The Little Things (Poem)

I think we all feel depressed sometimes. Lonely and scared, unstable and confused. When I go through this, I often go out and take a walk. I start to write..often very dark stuff. God has a way of always putting something in front of me that helps me see past my worries and see the light. Today I saw two dogs playing with each other, a lightning bug, a man walking his baby boy around the courtyard until he stopped crying, and tiny but distinct raindrops on the grass from an afternoon shower. We spend so much time today focusing on what is wrong with our lives, our bodies, our jobs, our friends; we stop noticing the little things that were created by something so much greater than how we did on that exam, how we broke our diet today, how money is tight, and how we messed up so badly that so-and-so won't forgive us. But it's the little things that help us put our lives in perspective. Some people see these little things and determine that their lives are meaningless. They go through an existential crisis because of it...but I think these things are meant to remind us that true beauty is found within the soul. It cannot be bought with money or seen by glasses or found by scientists. The little things in life are what makes life worth living.

You Are 16, Going On 17.....

A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self:

Dear Me,

I don't care what they say. You are beautiful. I don't care what names you are called behind whispering mouths hidden by their hands. You are beautiful. But not that kind of beautiful. I mean you are, but that's not what I'm talking about. They will call you a nerd, a b****, "That Quiet Girl", "That Chick with Blue Eyes", a geek, and so many other things. But you're just fine the way you are.

You are going to fail miserably in everything you thought you knew. People are going to put you down every single day, and you're going to start struggling on a daily basis to pay your bills and to buy food.

But you'll be okay. You have grown so much. Four years ago, you were holding on to if some boy liked you, abandonment issues, loneliness problems, and you'd just moved 12 hours away from home to Mayberry, where everyone and everything was so perfect that it was wrong. In 2 years, you'll have met some of the best friends you could ask for from high school, all the boys will be different, and you'll be heading to college. In 4 years, you'll still be struggling, but you will finally be on the right path.

You'll stop being shy, and you're going to make some HUGE mistakes. But I'm not going to warn you. You've got to make them, or else you won't  become me. And  I am happy for once in my life. I've never faced so many struggles and been so unsure of where I'll be this time next year. But you have some amazing experiences ahead of you. You'll meet two more of the best friends you're ever going to meet (so, yeah, you can make friends even though right now you don't think you can or will). You'll get to do most of the things you love still.

If I could tell you one thing it's this: Don't let go of your faith, and keep on being you. Keep on repeating that motto in your head that you have since you were 13...Live and let God. Life is going to suck. You will cry yourself to sleep even though you haven't cried in years. You're going to go make mistakes because you are upset and you are going to rebel like you've never thought you had in you. Stand up for what is right, and keep on going. You've got this, girl!

Much love,
Ali

The You Dictionary: What defines you?

Journey Update: I’m starting to help with children’s church in a few weeks! I’m so excited! The semester is drawing to a close. If you keep a list, add me to your prayers for finals week! Also, my mom (I mean, er, the Easter Bunny…) put a new HCSB Study Bible in my Easter basket. SO EXCITED!

Inspiration: “Do your best until you can do better. Then, do better.” ~Maya Angelou

Post: Who am I? Who am I called to be?

Who are you?

What defines you?

Really, take a minute to think about it. This is what is on my mind today. Take a minute, no, take thirty seconds, and answer these questions. It is very easy to cover it up with roles. I am a sister, a daughter a friend. I am a giver, a girlfriend, a student. I am a leader, a follower, a disciple. But aren’t you more than these roles? What, at the very core of your being, defines your life?

As a follower or disciple, I’d say that our main role is to be a child of God. At the core of my being, I’d say the defining aspect of my life right now is love. What’s yours? No, really. Stop and think about it.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-18 really helps me keep on the straight and narrow about how I am called to live my life as a disciple. This is one of my favorite passages of the Bible. Check this out!

“12 Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

There’s a lot of good stuff in here that’s been really helpful to me. I want to break these down and then talk about what this might mean (I mean, I don’t really know. This is just what I interpret.) The first thing we are told is to hold those who work hard in high regard and to live in peace with them. That’s easy enough to understand, right? In my experience, the hardest thing about this is remembering that almost everyone ought to be esteemed for their work. Everyone has a place in this world and it’s hard to remember others and to not be selfish.

Next are verses 14 and 15: “And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.” There’s a big bundle of instructions. Or is it? I mean, to me, if you really think about it, this is really just saying to love one another. Hmmmm…(awkward thought bubble)

                     

|||||||| I was talking about how my life is often defined by love. If you look at my last post, we are called to love God and others first and foremost. Hmmmmm…. |||||||||

Well, what’s next? 16-18!

“16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Rejoice always. But, listen, my life sucks. No, no it doesn’t. I hear stories (and will hopefully soon have some of my own) of people in third world countries, who are starving and sick and at war who can celebrate every day. Why? Because they are alive. Because many of them recognize that God has a better plan than this world. So, why do we struggle so much to be joyful as Americans (or my one German viewer)? From my own experience, I really believe it is because we are very spoiled as a culture. We are expectant and not wanting of much. I’m not saying we don’t want a lot because clearly we do. I’m just saying that in general, most of us have food, water, shelter, heat and air conditioning, television, computers, and phones. Perhaps if we didn’t have so much, we would realize better just how blessed we are.

Pray continually. Well, listen. I have school, a job, a family, friends, eating times…That.Is.Awesome. But you’re looking at it wrong. I went to a conference…five years ago now…and they talked about this. What I’m told is that what it really means is to keep Godly thoughts on your mind. If you’re walking between classes and see someone on crutches, ask God to heal them. It doesn’t need to be fancy. Just, “Hey God, he’s on crutches. Help him feel better?” I think, as American Christians, we have really put too much emphasis on having a formal relationship with God. We’ve started to lose track of talking to God versus talking at God. Just in my head, I imagine God listening to our formal prayers and wondering why we’re trying to impress those around us when we just need to talk to him. Does this make sense? When we talk to God we let Him know what’s weighing on our hearts. When we talk at God they’re just words. Whether they have a deeper meaning or not, they don’t really necessarily improve our relationship with him. I try to wear a ring with a dove on it each day to remind myself to talk to God all day.

Hoooold up. What does anything I just talked about have to do with how we define our lives??? Well it doesn’t. Not directly at least. Here’s what I’m trying to say. We often get our roles mixed up with ourselves. Who am I and who am I are totally different questions. Does that make sense? We are called to certain actions as followers and disciples. I try to live my life by these in particular. So how do you define yourself?

Do you:

Love?

Heal?

Pray?

Celebrate?

Give?

What, as a disciple or follower of your Savior, defines you? There’s no correct answer. It all depends on who you are. Here’s my challenge to you: figure out now what defines you. Once you know, I challenge you to think about it in everything you do and live your life by what defines you.

Good luck!

Until next time,

Just a Girl

P.S. I have a lot more to say, but I'm out of time. I want to talk Proverbs 31 next time :)

P.P.S. Next time I'm probably going to share some of what I'm learning from my new Bible! SUPER EXCITED!!!!