Things I Have Learned From Skyrim

1. Doors are dangerous.

2. Walls are dangerous.

3. Floors are dangerous.

4. Going to town is dangerous.

5. Going on a hike is dangerous.

6. Shouting at people can make them run away...or want to kill you.

7. Steal anything you want, but never kill a family chicken.

8. Talking to dogs is cool.

9. Always carry 35 apples, 10 apple pies, 17 cabbages, 20 potatoes, 37 cheese wedges, 18 leeks, and 7 salmon. You never know when you'll need them.

10. Not all people die when shot with 39 arrows.

11.  Killing people after giving blood offerings results in admission to special clubs. 

12. They like hanging out with the club of people who steal things.

13. Monsters are real, but even ghosts can be killed by swords and magic balls of destruction that shoot out of your hand.

14. Sometimes desecrated corpses fall from the ceiling and give you nightmares, but it's okay. They usually have a bunch of gold in their pockets to make up for your trauma.

(To be continued...)