Sunday, September 20, 2015

An Open Letter to Men on Dating Sites

An Open Letter to Men on Dating Sites


Dear Boys,

I am not adding you on Snapchat. You can add me if you want to see me. I will not sleep with you. I don't know you. And "netflix and chill" won't change that. I will not invite you over because you want to hookup, and telling me you're in the military and only get laid every six months makes you an jerk, not a good man. I have preferences- If I choose to tell you I'm not interested because you have children, are 32 years old, or abuse heroine, don't cuss me out. Thank me for being honest and not leaving you waiting for a response that will never come. I know I'm pretty, and I'm still insecure about my body. Telling me I'm pretty doesn't score you brownie points. It makes you sound boring like you have nothing interesting to say. If you want to talk to me, read my profile and come up with a good topic. I'm simply not answering to "hey", "you're pretty" (or any variation), or "wow, you're amazing". "Screw beautiful. I'm brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment my brain." (Christina Yang)


If you wouldn't use it as a hook for the introduction of an essay, don't use it on me. If you don't stand out from the crowd, I'm not giving you a callback. Treat it like an interview. Your profile and your first message to me are your resume. Speaking of messages, I'm not messaging you first unless you are absolutely stunning (personality wise or adorable wise). Make your profile look nice, and I might message you. If not, you won't be hearing from me first. I will not meet up with you the first night we talk. I don't have trust issues, but I'm not dumb either. I kind of like my life, and have no interest in losing it or making it less awesome. 

I'm busy. It may take hours or even days for me to get back to you. I work two jobs, go to school full-time, and am active in my sorority. I will get back to you at absurd hours of the night or on weekends. If you don't like my ambitions or dreams, you will not crush them, so don't even bother talking to me. I have priorities. I have commitments. I have goals. I will not let someone get in the way of them. You can be incorporated in to my life, but you will not become my life. I like video games, I'm a nerd, and yes, I am smart. You can accept it, or you can go away. I will be watching Doctor Who or Buffy or Charmed or Supernatural, etc. or I might be playing video games or having a DnD or game night. You aren't going to take me away from it. I need my chill time, and you aren't a part of that yet. You might be if you're cool. If not, sayonara.

Sincerely,
Ain't Nobody Got Time Fo Dat

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